During this period many couple relationships are put to the test. Many are forced to spend much more time with their loved one than they have ever spent together. Staying at home non-stop with your partner for almost two months is challenging for anyone.
No matter how harmonious the relationship.
What challenges couples have to overcome in times of quarantine:
Too much time together leading to no or significantly reduced personal time.
When you are used to spending an hour in the morning and 3 hours in the evening with your boyfriend/girlfriend, a whole day simply becomes too much. You start to see the flaws, the work routines, the lack of moodiness or talking too much on the phone. Any “detail” can annoy you because now you notice it more often and it may interfere with your routines. But just because you live in the same house doesn’t mean you have to be with your partner all the time. Do things separately, give each other “free” time, respect each other’s taboos. Eat together but work separately. Spend your time as you like. Maybe you want to read and he wants to watch a movie. It’s best to respect each other’s choices.
The division of household chores is extremely important to maintain harmony in the family.
It’s not fair for one person to do all the work in the house, so agree on a division of labour based on skill and perhaps pleasure. For example, the wife can cook because she is good at it and relaxes doing it, and the husband can do the dishes. Maybe he vacuums and she mops. Maybe one does the laundry and the other hangs it out to dry. Either way, share the household chores fairly. It’s a lesson in respect and cooperation!
Unmanageable emotions can cause arguments, conflicts and other heavy emotions.
Now it is extremely important to understand that there are strong emotions “outside the relationship” that make us more irritable, less cooperative or even passive. Don’t take everything personally, be understanding, detach the problem from the person and look for mutually beneficial solutions. In these times it is no longer about who is right, but about staying physically and emotionally healthy. We recommend the Assertive Communication and Conflict Management online course to learn to understand and be more empathetic.
Arguments because of children, overload, parent fatigue with young children are serious challenges for any couple.
In such situations, it helps to keep our focus on the here and now, to think that it is just a period and the essential is to stay healthy. It doesn’t matter if the child eats 3 sweets or watches more TV than usual. Just as adults eat more chocolate and drink more wine to distract themselves from negative news or fear and anxiety, so too do children need to. It helps to focus on the things that are really important to you as a family. It is also important to share your time and energy with your children. While one parent works, the other parent can play with the child to give the other parent time and quiet to do their work. Then switch roles. If you need ideas for activities to do with your children at home, see this article.
Balance is extremely important in these times. We also recommend this video with tips on how to organise your time when working from home.
